When Therese felt a small lump in her breast, doctors initially assured her it was nothing to worry about. But after insisting on a closer look, she received the unexpected news that she had a precursor to breast cancer. At the same time, she learned she was pregnant. We spoke to Therese about when life is turned upside down, and you suddenly find yourself in a situation you never imagined possible.

This blog post is a part of BIBS’ Real Parenting. Here, parents share their stories, experiences, and parenthood journey. Parenthood comes to life in the stories we share – whether it is moments of happiness or moments of sadness, we can all learn from each other.

An Unexpected Discovery

When Therese stumbled upon a small lump within one of her breasts, she quickly went to see a doctor. Therese explains:

“It all started when I discovered a small lump in my lower right breast. It felt somewhat like a large pearl. I just knew that something wasn't right. So, I contacted my doctor, who made an examination but quickly stated that it wasn't cancer”.

Despite the reassuring words from the doctor, Therese felt something was amiss.

"The doctor insisted it wasn't cancer, and she refused to refer me for further examination. But I knew something was wrong. I was in a clinic with multiple doctors, so I asked another doctor for a second opinion. She consulted another colleague, who also said it wasn't cancer, without even examining me. I felt they weren't taking me seriously, which was making me very anxious. I continued to argue for a referral, and eventually, they agreed to refer me. However, it was quite uncomfortable to debate with the doctor, and I had to be very persistent in my request.”

After waiting for three months, Therese finally had an in-depth examination.

“A specialist with over 25 years of experience examined me, and he too concluded that it wasn't cancer. However, I strongly advocated for a biopsy because I needed to understand what it truly was. While it might not have been cancer, there was undoubtedly something there, and I needed answers. Again, I really had to press for the request, and I was left with frustration and feeling of not being taken seriously by the doctors and the system”.

Navigating the Moment of Uncertainty

While on vacation with her boyfriend, Therese finally receives the long-awaited answer from the biopsy.

“They told me I had a significant precursor to breast cancer. In the worst-case scenario, I might need to undergo a mastectomy. I was genuinely shocked because I had been consistently told it wasn't cancer. It felt like a sudden shift from one extreme to another. Further, I had just found out that I was pregnant. So, everything just felt like complete chaos.”

Due to Therese's significant precursor to breast cancer and her pregnancy, the doctors were concerned that the hormonal changes during pregnancy might facilitate its spread.

“It is important to state that it wasn’t breast cancer yet. It was a precursor, though doctors said it would eventually develop into breast cancer. But no one could answer whether it would take three weeks, three months, or three years. And because of my pregnancy, the doctors recommended me to have my breast removed.

How to make the right decision

After getting the answers, Therese had to make a difficult decision.

“I'm typically a very rational person, but in this situation, I couldn't rely on logic alone. It was like a shroud of darkness had enveloped my thoughts. I felt a deep need to pause and carefully consider my options. While the doctors were eager to proceed with surgery immediately, I sensed that I had to participate actively in the decision-making process. I needed to comprehend the situation thoroughly and connect with my feelings. I found myself in a state of disorientation, unable to recognize myself. Returning home, I was engulfed in a profound crisis. Also, it was very hard not knowing if my son would survive my operation. He was in the first trimester when I had the operation, and there was no guarantee that he would survive.

I delved into extensive research, seeking to grasp the implications of my choices. The doctor’s recommendation was to remove the affected breast only. However, I couldn't bear the thought of living with the incongruity of an implant alongside my natural breast. The idea of such an 'imbalance' was unbearable to me. There were also discussions about removing one breast to enable breastfeeding on the healthy side before reconstruction, but I couldn't reconcile with that notion either. I cherished the idea of breastfeeding, if possible, but there were no certainties that this would be possible, even with both my breasts.

In the end, I decided to have both my breasts removed. I'm not saying that's the right decision for everyone. But for me, the decision to have both breasts removed felt like the most natural choice despite being the most challenging decision I've ever made. Today, I'm grateful for my choice, but in the beginning, doubts loomed about whether it was right."

Believe in yourself, trust your instincts, and break taboos

While thinking back on her journey, Therese elaborates:

"I share my story with the hope that it inspires others to prioritize their own well-being. My key message is about self-trust. Advocating for yourself, believing in your instincts, and taking your concerns seriously is important. Stand up for yourself and trust your inner voice! Who knows what would have happened if I had ignored my intuition that something was amiss and unquestioningly followed the advice of the initial doctor I encountered?

Another reason for sharing my story is to help dismantle the stigma and taboos often associated with mastectomy. I aim to add my voice to the narrative so that others can find resonance with my experiences. I personally found solace and inspiration in the story of Angelina Jolie, who also underwent a double mastectomy. I thought that if she could do it, so could I! I hope my story can likewise give other women the power to follow their intuition and make the right decision for themselves.”

About Therese

Therese Walseth is 38 years old and lives with her partner and their 1½-year-old son in Copenhagen, Denmark. She works as a psychotherapist, coach, and mentor, where she helps people with their self-esteem.