On a sunny morning in June, Madisyn and her husband Roger welcomed twins Juno and Rhea, into the world. In honor of  premature awareness month, we dive into her experience having a planned C-section at 36 weeks and explore her journey from the uncertainties of premature childbirth to the vital support system that surrounded and uplifted her throughout.

This blog post is a part of BIBS’ Real Parenting. Here, parents share their stories, experiences, and  journey insights, through moments of happiness and sadness, in hopes that we can all learn from each  other.

Can you share a little bit of the story behind your planned C-Section, and why it had to be done before  you reached full term?

Because I was pregnant with twins, it was a bit of a unique journey. Both were breeched (feet down) towards the end, and they also shared one placenta, so my medical team thought a planned C-section at 36-weeks was the best option.

It was my first-time having kids, so it was a bit of an unknown journey. Even though it was a planned  operation, I still dealt with a lot of uncertainty around what would actually happen on the day. But I also  didn’t have anything to compare it to, so I really just had to rely on the trust I had in the medical team  around me. 

Thankfully, both babies were very healthy throughout the entire pregnancy, and were born weighing 2.6 kilos each, which is a really good weight for twins and preemies.

Knowing ahead of time that it would be a premature birth, what did you do to help ease your anxiety? 

First and foremost was having a lot of in-depth conversations with my husband about every potential scenario and what I would want so he could be my advocate and support throughout the entire process. Knowing that he had my back and knew my wishes in case I wasn’t in a frame of mind to communicate it myself helped bring me a lot of calm and reassurance.

My medical team also played a huge role in reassuring me throughout the entire process. We talked through so much. They were constantly asking me questions like “What are your fears” and “What do you want to know more about”, and I feel super lucky that I was able to have those kinds of open and honest conversations with them.

Finally, with twins, I think the Danish healthcare system takes especially good care of you and they made sure that I had a lot of support and that everything was going smoothly. In addition to a midwife, I also had an obstetrician following my pregnancy, my regular GP, and I was getting ultrasounds every two weeks. Being able to closely follow that progress and always having someone around to ask questions to, that was super helpful.

My advice would be to be really open to voicing all of your concerns. I would always go in with a list of questions to every appointment and say things like “This is what I'm scared of” or “This is what I want to know more about”.

Other than being surrounded by a strong and supportive partner and medical team, did you seek support elsewhere?

Early in the pregnancy, I found a couple of other people who were also pregnant with twins, and we  would just kind of share our fears and our anxieties and talk through our situations. Even if the  situations were different, it was still really nice to have other people to lean on who were going through  something similar.

That sounds amazing, how did you find these people?

In Copenhagen there are a lot of Facebook groups for mothers or expecting mothers, twin-specific groups, or ones for people expecting babies in a particular month or period. Being able to ask questions in them and having access to this great network of moms who are willing to pay it forward and say “Hey, this is what happened for me” or “This is what I did or didn’t do” was so nice. I’ve gotten so many helpful tips and advice from them, even if I didn’t actively participate in all of them. 

I also joined a prenatal exercise class which was cool because all the women were expecting around the same time and we’ve stayed in touch even after having our babies– so there’s this continued support network that’s nice to have. And because the class was taught in English class, it meant that all of us were expats which helped us connect on another level. I’m Canadian, my husband is Spanish, and we live in Denmark – so we don’t really have our family here. Making friends who were in similar situations that we could share our experiences with was very helpful.

During the first few days after Juno and Rhea were born, was there anyone in your network that  supported you in a particularly special way?

For the first eight days we all stayed in the hospital, just to make sure everything was okay, and that the babies were safe. And as an expat, I don't have most of my family here, but I do have my sister Michelle.  Being able to ask her “Hey can you go to our house and pick this up or bring us snacks” was the best.

I think relying on friends or family that can support you during those first few days and ask what you need to be more comfortable (no matter how small) makes a huge difference.

How was it to bring your twins home and what preparations did you make to ease the transition?

It was definitely a bit scary at first. But after eight days we were really eager to get out of the hospital and be back in our own environment. We had planned ahead of time that Michelle and another friend would take care of our dog for a while, so we could just focus on the babies for a few weeks, which really helped put our minds at ease.

That was a huge help, as well as pre-planning as much as possible. If you can have somebody dog sit for you, or stock up on lots of non-perishable groceries and toilet paper, or prep frozen meals, really anything you can think of ahead of time to make your life a little bit easier is useful. Because once you

come home, you never know how it’s going to go. With two babies it was pretty hectic, so anything you can do to plan ahead, that really helps.

Also, I think taking care of yourself is something that can often get neglected in those early weeks, since you're focusing so much on the babies that you barely have time to think about yourself. So if you have  people in your life who are willing to do the small things - like bring you groceries , or make some food and bring it over, or give a  gift certificate to some food delivery service, or watch the babies for an hour so you can take a nap, it makes a big difference. 

How has it been to watch your twins progress since their premature birth, and what lessons have you  learned from this experience? 

Because they were born prematurely, they had feeding tubes through their nose at the beginning which can look really scary. But it was such a great feeling of accomplishment when we were able to take the feeding tubes out and know that we’ve gotten them to the next stage.

One of my main takeaways from this entire experience is that babies are so resilient and able to overcome so much. It's been amazing to be able to see their development and watch their ability to catch up after being born early– and know that this was just one of the many experiences that will shape them over their lifetime.