Becoming a parent can be a life-changing experience, and it is not uncommon for new parents to feel a sense of loss of their pre-parent identity. We sat down with Nanna, mother of two, to get her experiences and insights into how to rediscover oneself after becoming a parent.
This blog post is a part of BIBS’ Real Parenting. Here, parents share their stories, experiences, and parenthood journey. Parenthood comes to life in the stories we share – whether it is moments of happiness or moments of sadness, we can all learn from each other.
5 ways to rediscover yourself after becoming a parent
Below are Nanna’s own experiences and her advice on how to rediscover yourself after becoming a parent:
1. Take some time for yourself
Parenthood is not always easy, but it is worth it. It is a process of learning, growing, and adapting, and it changes you in ways you could never have imagined.
As a parent, it's easy to lose sight of your own identity and interests as you focus on your child’s needs.
Being a parent can be demanding, and for me, it is important to take some time out for myself to do the things I enjoy. This could be as simple as going for a walk alone or go see my friends. Finding balance and maintaining your sense of self while also being a loving and dedicated parent is possible.
2. Identify your interests and passions
Becoming a parent often means making sacrifices and adjusting your priorities. I guess it is natural to feel like you have lost a bit of yourself in the process. Though I have changed in many ways compared to before I became a mom, in other ways, I am still the same person with the same interests and passions.
For me, it is important to embrace and celebrate the changes that come with parenthood but also to take time to do those things I loved doing before and still love doing today.
My advice is to take time to rediscover who you are and what brings you joy. Think about what you enjoyed doing before you became a parent. Consider incorporating those interests into your life again, even if it's just for a little while each day.
Trying new things can also help you discover new interests and passions. Whether it's taking a cooking class, or joining a sports team, stepping out of your comfort zone can be a great way to rediscover yourself.
3. Connect with other parents
Connecting with other parents, either in person or online, can be a great way to feel less alone and to get support and advice from others who are going through similar experiences.
4. Seek professional help
If you are struggling to find your identity after becoming a parent, seeking the help of a therapist or counselor can be a great way to work through your feelings and explore your own needs and desires.
5. Remember that your identity evolves
Becoming a parent does not mean losing yourself, it means growing into a new version of who you are. Your identity is not fixed, and parenthood adds new dimensions to it.
Instead of trying to go back to who you were before, embrace the opportunity to redefine yourself in this new stage of life.
For me, it helped to shift my perspective: I haven’t lost my old self, I have gained a new part of me. It is possible to honor who you were before while also appreciating who you are becoming. Allow yourself grace in this transition and celebrate the person you are today, both as a parent and as an individual.
